Pitfalls of Prayer

Matthew 6:5-8 / Mark 12:38-40 / Luke 20:45-47

Benoit Mandelbrot, a Polish-born French-American mathematician, once said, “Asking the right questions is as important as answering them.” We should recognize the wisdom of this insightful observation. With this in mind, it is crucial that we ask the right questions as we examine the practice of prayer together from the life and teaching of Christ.

We have already asked one important question in the previous sermon, namely, what is prayer (or what is its definition)? And we defined prayer as “speaking deliberately to God.” This question of identity, the identity of prayer, is important to understand and take to heart because we will misunderstand whatever else Christ says about prayer if we do not properly identify the subject at hand.

Another question we would like to and should eventually answer, if possible, is how to pray and how to pray effectively? But these are questions about methodology and practicality, both of which are very Western and American concerns. Though these concerns are valid, they focus on surface, exterior concerns of form and function and, when focused upon, tend to bypass or overlook a matter of more crucial significance.

As Westerners, we have imbibed a “doing” mentality, one that values action, behavior, and productivity. This emphasis, though, risks bypassing the more important and foundational value of “being,” first – or motivation. Before you ask about anything, “What should I do?”, you should first ask, “Why should I do that?” or rather, “Why do I do that?”

As the Apostle Paul once observed, “Though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” (1 Cor 13:3). As followers of Christ entering the new year of 2024, we would do well to devote some more focused and serious attention, on a more frequent and regular basis, to examining our motives, asking ourselves why we do things, especially those things of a relationship and spiritual nature.

When imbalanced, misplaced, or wrong motives underly our actions – even those actions we claim to do for God by faith – those very actions produce death rather than life, negativity rather than positivity, unbelief rather than faith, fear rather than love, insecurity rather than confidence, doubt rather than hope, hurt rather than healing.

It is not comfortable or easy to point out this potential problem in our spiritual lives, especially when the problem of misdirected, misplaced, misshapen motives may have established deeply embedded roots in our hearts and practices over a long period of time, blinding us to our true spiritual need while giving us a false sense of spiritual maturity. When wrong motives are so interwoven to our perceived identity before God and the people around us, it is hard to accept when someone – like a pastor, biblical counselor, or Christian friend – suggests otherwise.

Biblical counseling, preaching, and teaching should follow the example of Christ in his own teaching ministry by emphasizing matters of the heart and motive before and as the basis for matters of lifestyle and practice. Taking this approach requires much time, humility, and honest personal reflection and self-awareness in light of and in response to the clear teaching of God’s Word.

During Christ’s earthly teaching ministry, his teaching frequently highlighted the problem of not merely wrong relational and religious behaviors and practices, but also and more importantly the wrong and misplaced motives behind those practices, even those practices which – on the surface – appeared to be wholesome, exemplary, and right.

As a result of Christ’s persistent emphasis on cultivating the proper motives underlying our behaviors, he received frequent criticism, resistance, and pushback. The majority of such pushback came from the Pharisees, those people from the regular, working-class community whom people looked up to as spiritual examples. For a variety of reasons, these people had a very difficult time evaluating their own hearts.

May we, with God’s help, not be as they were. May we let Christ’s teaching help us more honestly evaluate our motives so that we may be more fruitful, healthy, joyful, and satisfied in our spiritual lives and relationship with God and others. In particular, may this be true as we evaluate our personal practice of prayer. Which leads us to the all-important question of this message – why do you pray?

Today’s message may seem simple because it is. We will identify two potential pitfalls of prayer, which are two wrong motives or reasons for prayer. We will also identify two solutions, one to help us avoid each potential pitfall in our personal approach to prayer. You will notice that each of these potential pitfalls and their related solutions appear in Christ’s teaching on prayer, with the Pharisees being his primary audience.

Pitfall #1 – Praying to get attention from people.
“When you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. (Matt 6:5)

He said to them in His teaching, “Beware of the scribes, who desire to go around in long robes, love greetings in the marketplaces, the best seats in the synagogues, and the best places at feasts, who devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. These will receive greater condemnation.” (Mk 12:38-40)

First, let me encourage you to visualize that Christ is describing here. He is describing people who prayed aloud in public. He portrays them doing this in two different locations, sometimes in religious gatherings and settings (“in the synagogue”) and other times in public, secular settings (“on the corners of the streets”).

In another teaching moment later on in his ministry, Christ also called attention to people who prayed long, lengthy prayers.

So, as we visualize these scenes in our minds, let’s ask an important question of observation. Is what we are envisioning – the kind of praying that we see here – wrong? Is it wrong to pray aloud in a public worship gathering? Is it wrong to pray aloud in a public, secular place? Is it wrong to pray long, lengthy prayers?

The answer to all of these questions is ‘no,’ because none of these behaviors are wrong from a behavioral, practical standpoint. In fact, we could make an easy case from Scripture that there is a time and place – even an expectation from God – that we will do these things at one point or another throughout our Christian lives. Christ himself did these things!

So, if Christ is not correcting these behaviors, then what exactly is he correcting? Let’s look closely at these passages (Matt 6:5; Luke 12:40). Notice, for instance, that the problem is that these people prayed aloud or in public, but that they “loved” to pray in public. This word, love, describes not the behavior of these people but their motive.

Christ further describes their motive as “that they may be seen by men.” The word translated as “to be seen” (Matt 6:5) and “for a pretense” (Mk 12:40) has a range of meaning that includes “to shine” and “to appear.” The problem, here, is not praying aloud or in public, in religious or secular settings, but doing so to be noticed or recognized by the people who hear and see you pray. Said another way, the problem here is praying aloud and in public so that you will seem and sound godly to other people, so that they will have a good and godly impression of you. It is praying for the sake of appearance. The problem here is praying aloud to gain the approval and respect of people around you.

When we pray for this reason, deep down inside our hearts we are hoping that people will be impressed by our choice of words, our theological insights, our apparent sincerity, our spiritual maturity, our ability to quote Scripture, our concern for people’s needs, our strong faith, and so on. When “making a good appearance to other people” and “gaining the attention of other people” is a motive when we pray, we are praying as the Pharisees prayed. We are hypocrites who are putting on a spiritual show.

What people see and hear when we pray is not who we really are. We are using the platform of prayer to promote our own surface, self-righteousness rather than to seek the righteousness of God genuinely and sincerely.

Solution – Commit yourself to the practice of private prayer.
But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. (Matt 6:6)

What is the solution to this problem? Christ calls us to visualize yet a third prayer scene, not one in a worship gathering or in some secular, public place, but one that is a personal, private space.

Closet here can be translated as a storeroom (Luke 12:24), some other inner room (Matt 12:26), or a bedroom (Isa 26:20). And “closing the door” portrays privacy, or prayer with no one watching but God.

With this third setting for prayer, Christ is not teaching us to abandon or refuse to pray aloud or in public with other people. Instead, he is teaching us that if we are committed to praying aloud and in public, we should first (as a matter of first priority) commit ourselves to the practice of private prayer.

Christ is teaching here not only to pray in private or not to pray in public, but that if you only pray in public and if you pray in public not for godly reasons but to appear godly, then you should press pause on your public prayers until you’ve demonstrated first a commitment to regular, genuine, private prayer.

To underscore the importance and profound value of private prayer, Christ makes an interesting observation about God the Father, to whom we should speak when we pray. God the Father, of all persons who exist, is the one being who fully and truly deserves to be acknowledged, to be noticed, to be praised, to be seen. Yet he himself is “in the secret place.” This phrase “in the secret place” is simply “in secret,” with translators adding “place” some translations.

The point here, though, seems to be that Christ is reminding us of God the Father’s concealed, hidden, unseen nature. Why should we seek to be noticed when we speak to God when God himself is invisible? Why should we desire to be the one who receives the attention from others when we pray when it is God himself who should be noticed?

After pointing this out, Christ also points out that God “sees” in secret. If you believe that God exists and that he cares about you, then you know that it makes no difference whether you pray in private or public, God sees you and hears what you say. You have God’s attention no matter how public or private your prayers may be.

So, when you pray to gain attention from people, Christ says, “You have your reward,” meaning, if you pray to get attention and respect from people, that’s what you’ll get. But that’s not the purpose of prayer. The purpose of prayer is to give attention to God!

Pitfall #2 – Praying to get attention from God.
When you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. (Matt 6:7-8)

This leads to a second, more subtle wrong motive in prayer. To help us understand what this means, let me repeat what I just said to wrap up the previous point:

If you pray to get attention from people, that’s what you’ll get. But that’s not the purpose of prayer. The purpose of prayer is to give attention to God!

Did you notice that I didn’t repeat the word “get” a second time, but I replaced it with “give” instead? I could have said, for instance, “The purpose of prayer is not to get attention from people but to get attention from God.” And though this may feel better or even correct, if we pray with the motive of getting attention from God, we are also praying with misplaced motives. For the purpose of prayer is not to get attention from God but to give attention to God. Notice how Christ draws our attention to this key distinction.

Christ corrects the wrong approach to prayer or using “vain repetitions as the heathen do.” According to the Greek-English Lexicon of the NT and Other Early Christian Literature, the word translated as “vain repetitions” means: “to speak in a way that images the kind of speech pattern of one who stammers, use the same words again and again, speak without thinking.” To understand this concept more clearly, let me first explain what this does mean and second what is does not mean.

Repetitive praying was a pagan practice, based on the belief that once someone got the attention of a god, they had to keep talking repetitively to keep the god’s attention and to convince them to do what they were asking. People also believed that certain words, phrases, and mantras had special, magical, or persuasive power with the gods, so they would try to say these things as much as possible in their prayers.

What this does portray is speaking to God in prayer in a way that is either (a) meaningless or (b) mindless.

• By “meaningless” I mean using sounds, words, and expressions that mean nothing. This would include praying in a language you do not understand, repeating words you do not understand, or chanting sounds which have no actual meaning at all.
• By “mindless” I mean that though the words you speak in prayer may have real and profound meaning, you are speaking them without thinking about what they mean. For instance, what do you usually say when you begin a prayer? Do you say, “Dear heavenly Father,” “Our gracious, most heavenly Father,” or something else? These words are rich with spiritual, personal, and theological significance, but they become “vain repetitions” when you say them habitually without thinking or without savoring their meaning.

The same is true with how we end prayers, saying “in Jesus’ name” or “Amen.” If we merely say these things out of routine or as some superstitious habit which we believe somehow ensures that we prayed properly – like signing a check to ensure it can be cashed or notorizing a document to ensure it is official – then we are once again violating the purpose and spirit of prayer.

The same is true of everything we say between the beginning and end of our prayers, too. Whatever we say, we should mean, understand, care about, and want to say.
Now, having explained what “vain repetitions” does mean, let me also explain what it does not mean, for in our efforts to avoid vain repetitions, we can overreact by avoiding any repetition at all.

Consider, for instance, that there is nothing wrong with reciting the Lord’s Prayer, reading prayers from a book of theologically sound and devotionally profound pre-written prayers, or quoting a Bible verse, passage, or entire Psalm from Scripture in prayer. We already do this when we sing pre-written prayers set to music. You see, the important factor here is that we focus sincerely on what we are saying when we pray, understanding what we are say and meaning what we say. That’s what matters.

In our desire to avoid unbiblical liturgical rituals (such as may be practiced by Roman Catholicism, Anglicanism, Eastern Orthodoxy, or Lutheranism in some cases), we may tend to emphasize pure spontaneity, simply speaking to God in prayer whatever comes to our mind as we pray, believing that this is somehow more appropriate and sincere than reciting a Psalm, reading a pre-written prayer, or quoting the words of the Lord’s Prayer or some other biblical prayer, such as one Paul wrote for instance. And while such prayers may – and should – also be understood and applied as patterns or sets of principles and guidelines to shape our own prayers, quoting, reading, or reciting them in prayer is not in and of itself forbidden. Praying these prayers “as is” on one hand or following them as general patterns for our own, similar, more extemporaneous expressions, these approaches are not mutually exclusive – they are both appropriate.

So, what is the key takeaway in all this? We should say whatever we say whenever we pray not to get attention from God by somehow earning his favor, attracting his attention, or impressing him by how well we pray or the specific words that we choose. Instead, we should pray to give attention to God, not get attention from him.

As Christ points out, we have absolutely no need whatsoever to gain God’s attention anyway. Why? Because if you are a follower of Christ by faith, you are a forever child of God. And as God’s child, you are automatically guaranteed to have his complete and full attention at all times. As Christ says, “Your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask him.”

You see, no one has ever piqued God’s curiosity, provided God with new information, or raised his awareness of some need of which he was not already previously aware. So, if prayer is not intended to gain God’s attention or favor, then what is the purpose of prayer?

The purpose of prayer is not to gain God's attention but for God to gain our attention, for when we pray, we are not receiving more or greater attention from God than at any other time. But when we pray, God is receiving more and greater attention from us, and that is not only what he most deserves but what we need more than anything we may ever request of him when we pray, for the greatest need of our frenetically busy, self-centered, unfocused lives is to give more undivided, wholehearted attention to God.

Solution – Commit yourself to the right heart attitudes in prayer.
In this manner, therefore, pray: our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. (Matt 6:9)

What is the solution to this problem of seeking to gain God’s attention and approval in prayer? The answer is simple. When you pray, commit yourself not to gaining God’s attention and favor but to giving more attention to him. In other words, commit yourself to cultivating the right heart attitudes in prayer – attitudes not of getting things from God but of giving adoration, attention, and worship to God.

Christ teaches this mindset in prayer when he says, “In this manner, therefore, pray…” By saying “in this manner,” he is not so much teaching a methodology, or even necessarily as set of guidelines or pattern or template for our prayers (though there is some reality to either of this concepts here), he is most importantly teaching a mindset or set of motivations for our prayers.

In this and the verses that follow – what we call “The Lord’s Prayer” or “The Model Prayer” – Christ reveals to us a set of motives which God most values and cherishes when we pray. It is these motives that reveal a heart that is devoted to the worship of God, who is placing God’s will, his purposes, his plans, his priorities, and – most importantly – God himself at the center of attention in prayer.

Now, why is this so important to emphasize? Because prayer is not primarily asking God for things but worship God for who he is. One well-known pastor, John MacArthur, makes the simple claim that “prayer is the highest form of worship.” Do you agree?

Why is it, then, that we have become so fixated and preoccupied with our prayers being either entirely or primarily about getting attention from God so that we can get things from God, no matter how well-intended our desires may be? Besides the fact that our sinful nature tends to take anything good, including prayer, and twist or degrade it into some form or another of selfish gratification, there is another fascinating historical reason which may also help us understand why this idea of prayer as primarily asking God for things has become so prevalent in our churches today.

In 1942, a very influential Bible preacher named John R. Rice wrote a book called “Prayer: Asking and Receiving.” In this book, he makes this claim:

“Prayer is not praise, adoration, humiliation, or confession, but asking. Praise is not prayer, and prayer is not praise. Prayer is asking. Adoration is not prayer, and prayer is not adoration. Prayer is always asking. It is not anything else but asking.”

Yikes! Now, we can overreact to this statement by refusing to include “asking” in our prayers, and that would be a wrong and exaggerated response. But this statement by Rice could not be more wrong. Prayer is neither primarily nor exclusively asking, it is first and foremost an act of worshiping God. Unfortunately, John R. Rice’s influence (and perhaps other similar influences and teaching) seems to have infiltrated our thinking as believers. May we return to the idea that prayer is first and primarily the worship of God.

Someone else has described prayer this way: “as quickening the conscience by the holiness of God, feeding the mind with the truth of God, purging the imagination by the beauty of God, opening the heart to the love of God, and devoting the will to the purpose of God.” Only when we truly gazing upon the glories of God and submit to the will and purposes of God in prayer do our requests of God come into proper view.

Think about it. What else do we even need to ask him for when we see him for who he really is and trust him as he deserves to be trusted? I do not say that we should cease asking him for things, but how much of our asking is merely seeking to get more attention from him (of which we need no more) or of getting more from him when he have all that we really need in him alone?

Next week, we will explore more closely the set of attitudes that Christ encourages us to cultivate in our prayers to God as we study what we commonly call “The Lord’s Prayer” or “The Model Prayer,” or as some have begun to call it, “The Disciple’s Prayer.” But today, let me encourage you to genuinely ask yourself the heart-searching question, “Why do I pray?”

May God help us to be truly self-aware and humbly reflective to acknowledge when and to what degree we pray to get attention and affirmation from other people and/or to get more attention and things from God. May God enable us and reshape our motives so that we will shift our attention in prayer – whether private or public – to view prayer as primarily worship and to give simply give God far more attention in our prayers. And may we commit ourselves more regularly and sincerely to the practice of private prayer.